whole

I am more complete.
I am more alive.
I am safe.
I am home in my skin.
I am
{on my way to being,
not-too-far-from
and beginning to taste the meaning
of what it feels to be}
whole.

this I will not fear.
I will not fear being whole
I will not fear that responsibility
I will not fear that feeling, skin deep
skin surface
internal sensation.
this fullness I will accept as a gift.
a memory of the past,
a taste of the future,
a new outfit
of a value beyond Madison Avenue.
this I will not fear,
this gift I will allow myself to indulge
a birthright to being whole
someone tried to take away

I dont know her, the one who stole it

but if I did know her,
I cannot imagine the emptiness she must feel.
Because I know what it feels to be almost empty
to feel as though there is room within your body
to fill with the best treasure you can find.
an abundance of storage
for just the perfect fit
more room to fill
and less possessions to hang on to
to get attached to
but if you could only find that one treasure
once you find that one treasure
to fill all the empty space you saved
you made
you will capture it all and stuff it inside

but it will never come
one treasure is not the answer

it is all the jewels of life
yes, it's not that easy
it's difficult
but you have denied all of the small treasures
turned away from shimmering stars
and crystals of delight
to remain empty.
to remain the same.

because love is to difficult to trust

and then be broken

so you wait for the one thing that

will not hurt when you treasure it

you wait for what is to come
perfection
that will never come

this i will not fear

it's here right now
the jewels that have tried to enter
when will you open your skin

and begin to whisper

I am more complete.

I am more alive.

I am safe.

I am home in my skin.

I am

{on my way to being,

not-too-far-from

and beginning to taste the meaning

of what it feels to be}

whole.

being still one year & still I know.

still i know

be still and know next year {inhale} next year it will not be this way. 

be still and know you have come far

be still and know one year is not enough time

be still and know one year is behind you

be still and know one year is ahead of you

be still and know the memories have no control over you

be still and know the past, is the past

be still and know this is not forever

be still and know there are millions of people struggling, feeling pain they, too, didn't ask for 

be still and know you are strong enough

be still and know you will make mistakes

be still and know bravery is built

be still and know crying brings another layer of armor

be still and know this is only a season

be still and know there is purpose in pain. there is pain with purpose

be still and know there is life beyond, why did you ever stop believing 

be still and know it isn't over

be still and know you cannot rush pain… thus, cannot rush healing.

be still and know tomorrow is another change

be still and know you are not alone

be still and know you are not alone

be still and know you are not alone

be still and know.

be still and know you have to be still

you can be still

you were made to be still.

you long to be still

you grow from being still

you fear being still

but you must

be still.

face. the. fear.

let your being, be still.

listen to the declaration of your body

listen to your inner teacher

she knows more than you think

be still and know

you are strong enough

be still and know

you can be still.

one year ago you said

you can.

you would be still.

and still it doesn't change.

only time

in time,

C

1-in-20

…click to read more about this

humbling, startling & brave

project.

thank you Carrie.

 all of us thank you,

C

let hope.

darkness trembles 

because you have the  power within to conquer.

do not fear darkness.

rather, it fears you. 

claim that.

xo,

C

the part of me

my anthem. 
ignore the fact that it's about some loser guy.
irrelevant.
same thing.
it's loser E.D.
declare it.


all of us have at least one part that
it didn't take away.
find it.
grow from that.
use it as kerosene.
light the rest of your body,
your mind,
your spirit.
there is a part of you that can help find the rest of you.
and to that truth we hold on.
hold on.



(please excuse the cheesy sing-a-long lyrics, ha!)

dedicated to M :)

this is the part of me,

C