whole

I am more complete.
I am more alive.
I am safe.
I am home in my skin.
I am
{on my way to being,
not-too-far-from
and beginning to taste the meaning
of what it feels to be}
whole.

this I will not fear.
I will not fear being whole
I will not fear that responsibility
I will not fear that feeling, skin deep
skin surface
internal sensation.
this fullness I will accept as a gift.
a memory of the past,
a taste of the future,
a new outfit
of a value beyond Madison Avenue.
this I will not fear,
this gift I will allow myself to indulge
a birthright to being whole
someone tried to take away

I dont know her, the one who stole it

but if I did know her,
I cannot imagine the emptiness she must feel.
Because I know what it feels to be almost empty
to feel as though there is room within your body
to fill with the best treasure you can find.
an abundance of storage
for just the perfect fit
more room to fill
and less possessions to hang on to
to get attached to
but if you could only find that one treasure
once you find that one treasure
to fill all the empty space you saved
you made
you will capture it all and stuff it inside

but it will never come
one treasure is not the answer

it is all the jewels of life
yes, it's not that easy
it's difficult
but you have denied all of the small treasures
turned away from shimmering stars
and crystals of delight
to remain empty.
to remain the same.

because love is to difficult to trust

and then be broken

so you wait for the one thing that

will not hurt when you treasure it

you wait for what is to come
perfection
that will never come

this i will not fear

it's here right now
the jewels that have tried to enter
when will you open your skin

and begin to whisper

I am more complete.

I am more alive.

I am safe.

I am home in my skin.

I am

{on my way to being,

not-too-far-from

and beginning to taste the meaning

of what it feels to be}

whole.