strong enough for...

it was a most glorious day.
I am not sure why,
but I woke up knowing it was going to be sunshine.
and it was.

another glimpse of me showed up today.
a quality of her that I knew was deep inside, but had been hidden.


I had just completed my challenge
given by my dietician every week.
today, it was a drink of blended goodness from Starbucks.
may I suggest the Salted Caramel Mocha Frappaccino?

I left Starbucks just about bouncing off the walls from

caramel, chocolate, espresso, a great counseling session, successful morning at work,

and the fact that I was about to go down to SoHo for an art class,

my favorite part of Manhattan.

After taking three steps down to the 6 train station,

 I turned around because something caught my eye.

There was an older African-American mother 

standing at the top of the stairs with her little one in a stroller. 

Businessmen and women were whizzing by left and right not paying her any attention. 

I did something that caught me a little off guard.

the fact that I even noticed her at all surprised me, 

after living with an eating disorder you become numb everything, 

even things right in front of your face that used to catch your attention.

I walked back up the stairs without even thinking.

whoa, who is this person? 

oh yes, it's me.

"Hey! Do you need help getting that stroller down the stairs?"

She just smiled real big and nodded at me.

And so I grabbed the bottom of the stroller,

Starbucks in had and 10 pound bag on my shoulder 

we slowly side-stepped our way down the stairs.

Everyone just continued to whizz down the stairs right by us in their own usual world.

I stumbled a little and about lost my breath, I was carrying a child.

The little girl in the stroller didn't even flinch.

she was holding onto the railing as we went down

singing, "Down, down downnnn."

She trusted me... she didn't even notice my size.

Her mother just said, "Uh Oh!" and didn't question my ability.

She didn't doubt me. and on we went.

I started laughing at the irony of the situation.

Here I am, just about the most pipsquweak girl on Lexington Ave.

and I am the one helping this woman carry her stroller down the stairs!

What's wrong with this picture?

It's sad no one else even cared to stop and help her with the simple task,

but I am glad that I had the privilege of lending a hand.

Because it showed me an instinct that I once had,

and proved to me that it was still there:

She was not lost

She was coming back

She was powerful

She was a caring young woman

She can be trusted

She can feel and smile

She was strong enough for someone else... and for herself.

strong enough,

C